Cold. Sore.

This post will be mostly me bitching about my hideous cold sores.  But first, I will discuss Monday's run.

I went to the trails after work.  The knee feels great. My legs feel great. The rest of me was screaming 'why god whhhyyyyy'.  I don't understand!!  I ran 45 mins and made it just fine but felt like I was going to die.  I hope that I get my grove back soon.  I am running tomorrow morning and then Saturday will be the first group run I have been to since knee crisis. I am very very nervous. It is a 9 miler. I know I can do it but think I will have to go to one of the 11 min miler groups because the way I have been feeling the past week (out of shape) I don't know if I can do the whole 9 with my 10:45 min mile group.  I am sort of depressed about it but my goal is to run it all and so what how slow. I still have almost 2 months before the race to build up speed.  I hope the slower group accepts me. I like my other group but since it's been 3-4 weeks since I have been they probably forgot me.  sob sob.

Now, on to the cold sore. I have been cursed with these stupid things since I had mono at the age of 19.  I got them with the virus and now get them when I get stressed and pms.  Sometimes it'll be a year between them and sometimes I'll get them every month for 3-4 months in a row. I have meds to help but if I wake up with one there isn't much the meds can do except dry them out quicker. It's gross and I feel like I look like a leper or a whore.  Ahhh.

Normally I just deal with it but tomorrow I start my new job and the law firm. I am excited but nervous too because I want to impress them and not have them regret seeking me out and hiring me the same day of my interview without interviewing anyone else.  LOT OF PRESSURE. I have to kick ass!

So I have like 3 cold sores and that is going to be a great first day impression and they may not want me around clients now or even LOOK at me!  Ugh.  I know, I am being ridiculous but they are really disgusting.  First day impressions are every thing!!  Apparently my MS shots make them increase...my father-in-law who is a doctor and also suffers from them explained but I won't go into that.

I am going to go running before work since I don't have to go in tomorrow until 8:30 when the other legal assistant gets there and can train me. Right now I feel fat (from not running during the knee crisis, slow running now, eating crap),  and ugly (cold sores, bad hair) . I need to pull it together and be confident on the outside even if I am not on the inside, which I can do with grace and dignity.  Hopefully the morning run will help.  It's all in my head, I know this!!  Waaa, waaa.

So, to make myself feel better I looked up pictures of celebrities that have cold sores!!  I don't like any of these people but it is making me feel better!!!

Posh Spice, with a big one!  And she's still pretty.

Katie Holmes, dang girl...those are worse than mine!

And Paris Hilton, not too bad...but she IS a slut.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

This morning, in the mirror after gorging myself on awesome food and drink over the past four days.  Okay, I am not hairy or a cat...but you get the idea!!!






I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We had our festivities with some friends and their families who were kind enough to invite us over so we wouldn't be alone.  It was a blast, and always fun to be around family drama...that isn't yours! Then we went out Friday and Saturday night with various friends and ate, drank and were merry merry.

I did run Friday.  I ran 3.5 miles and it felt wonderful.  My knee was fine, I felt good and in shape.  I was totally lazy on Saturday though. They didn't have a formal group run and so I slept in and ran errands, did laundry etc.

Today, I got back on track.  Because I am just getting back into running since my injury I was a little nervous that I have lost all the distance I had gained. Even though I had three great runs last week.  Not the same as getting back up in the miles again.

I decided to run an easy 6.5, easy as in SLOW.  I had a great pace the first 4 miles. It really felt awesome.  It was about 60 degrees when I went out around 10 am, which was a little warm but even so, very good.  I sort of lost steam between the 4-5.5. miles. I didn't stop though, my goal was to do the DISTANCE comfortably and not walk.  I picked it up the last half mile.  My knee is a tad sore but not bad at all. Actually, my hams and calves are more tight than any thing.  I stretched and stretched and plan to do some later as well.

Over all I am very happy and excited to see how I do next week and want to put some of the speed work back in.  Nervous however about the next group run, which I think is 8 or 9 miles...I may have to go back a time group until I really build back up the speed. I haven't been to the group in three weeks due to the knee crisis. Then, I can focus on the weight issue.  Ah!!!   I am trying not to get discouraged, today really helped that!!

I hate the gym.

I had to run some errands after work yesterday and didn't get home until it was too dark to run outside.  I debated on and off about not exercising and just opening the lovely Torrontés I had bought to have with dinner.  But, the guilt hit me and I went to go to exercise at our apartment gym. 

It's a fine little gym but I thank god no one was in there when I went, which is odd because it was only 6:15 pm.  Usually if I have go to the gym it's before work at 5am. I was going to do the ellipitcal because my knee was a little sore from Monday's run but with no one in there and the treadmill free I decided to run.

Yes, the treadmill is not ideal for my knees but I needed to run!!!  So, I did a little warm up at 11 min mile pace. Then started my 30 min run at a 10:50 mile pace gradually increasing every 10 mins until I ended at a 10:30 mile pace.  I felt awesome.  Mind you there were no inclines or outside elements to deal with to slow me down but wow, I felt awesome.  And they have stupid mirrored walls like in most gyms but hey, I looked pretty muscular in the mirror...when running. I stop and it's back to the flabby reality.

My knee is actually okay today. I stretched a lot last night and iced. I will run again tomorrow morning.  Hopefully I can build back up the mileage.  But even if it wasn't the best scenario to run in the gym, I NEEDED that after the past two weeks.

And of course, I popped open that wine after dinner and drank away. After water and gatorade of course. hee hee.

Back in the saddle again...sort of

I am off work today.  I have one personal holiday left and the County will not pay me for it so my kind supervisor told me to use it before my last day.  We are slower this week with the upcoming holiday.  I feel sort of guilty but hey, they suggested it!





So this morning was the perfect time to try out the ol' knee.  I was hoping I would feel like this, being so happy to get back out there, 'back in the saddle again'...






But it was more like this:

Over all it was good. My knee was great while running, but sore afterward. I am icing right now.  I did just a nice easy 30 mins.  My legs remember and are still in shape. But it was the rest of me!  I got cramps, I wasn't breathing properly and I felt like a big linebacker was in front of me I was trying to push along while I ran.  But I think I will be okay.

Because I am still paranoid about the knee I may alternate cross-training with running this week. So tomorrow I plan to do the Elliptical, then run, bike/Elliptical etc. until I feel okay.  But, if the knee continues to heal and do better I will be fine.  I feel like I lost some speed but that's okay, right now my goal is to just be able to run!!!

Some other personal things are going on with our family and I was very stressed this morning so I think that was why my breathing was off.  Also, I went down to the trail at 9am and all the skinny housewives were out there in their tight clothes.  There were so many out there today...I felt fat and slow but I know it will get better!! Just pray the knee continues to get better.

Over all, feeling positive though.  Happy to be back out there!!  Plan to get a pedicure and do a little sale shopping today (if Jon lets me...haaaaaaaaaaa)

Hallelujah!!!!

My knee is soooooo much better!!  The rest has helped.  I am walking today with out any KT Tape and it feels amazing. Not perfect, but oh so much better.  I plan to still do the elliptical tomorrow but try running on Monday to get back on schedule.  I will go slow, ease on back into it.  I hope I didn't lose every thing I have gained, and am so paranoid it will flare up again. I just need to keep on top of it, ice, stretch etc so it doesn't get back to that point.

I swear I have gained 10lbs in the past two weeks.   It's been a crazy two weeks too with getting a new job, being sick, some family stuff and other emotionally draining things. I just want to run it all out!!  Especially as my last day at work and first day of new job approach I am getting nervous and running will help.

I am so excited to run again...pray pray pray all will be okay!!!  With the race 2 months away I really think I can get back to where I was, as long as I don't re-injury myself.

A little relief

Finally, finally my knee feels a little better!  It doesn't throb in pain when I am not walking.  I am only semi limping. It doesn't hurt at night.  Maybe by next week I can RUN again!!!

Been totally lazy. But also sick and therefore I haven't worked out at all since last week. I am paranoid about the knee but was sick since Saturday so that's a good excuse, right?  I went to the oncologist today however and am NOT HAPPY with my weight.  Need to do something and now that I am feeling better and not as in pain. I am going to do the bike or ellipical, I swear. It may not be until Saturday but I AM going to do it.

News from the oncologist however is good.  He didn't find any thing to biopsy (yeay!) and I get the pap results by Friday.  He isn't worried and then I won't have to go back for another 6 months.

Calm down future grandparents if you read this, we can't even think about a baby until I am cancer free for a year.  ha ha ha.

Even though I am feeling crappy about my knee injury I have had some happy thoughts from work.  Although they seem to be sad I am leaving I have received many compliments about my work ethic, work product and personality.  I think they understand this is an opportunity I can't pass up and they too are impressed the new firm remembered me and sought me out!  If any thing I was entertaining at my current job, people have told me so. I will miss some of the people, hopefully since I am only 9 blocks away I can still see them for lunches or happy hours.  I am finally excited about the new job but nervous too. I want to impress, as always and will do what I have to do but it's a lot of pressure.

A few people haven't acted as proud or complimentary as I would like.  But I guess no one can read minds and we all react to things differently. Still...I am hurt and that seems to out shadow the good comments and I get down on myself.

NEED TO RUN AND CLEAR MY BRAIN. See what happens, things are worse in my head than they are in reality when I don't have an outlet to get rid of them.  Yeah, I know...WILL HIT THE GYM in the next two days. 

Running IS therapy...for real.

Day Six Knee 'Crisis'

I think if I just cut off my leg this would be much easier to deal with.  Still hurting, but not as much except when I walk. Last week it was constant.  I got this awesome stuff called KT Tape.  It's much more comfortable than a brace and moves with my knee.  I didn't apply right I don't think today but it still made a difference. Need to watch the video online again tonight. ha ha ha     http://www.kttape.com/

I still am not feeling great cold/stomach wise but plan on hitting the gym tomorrow. I feel fat and lazy and guilty for not exercising. I miss running and it's only been a week but I want this to GET BETTER.

On another note however,

I have some surprising and yet exciting news!  I got a new job!  I know, sort of shocking since but it is an opportunity I can't pass up.

I was not applying or looking for a job but last week the firm that I did some paralegal contract work for when we first moved here emailed me saying they were looking for a legal assistant and to send my resume if I wanted to be considered.  Always one to try to further my career I sent it and within a few hours they set up an interview.  I interviewed mid last week and by the end of the day they offered me a job!!

After making sure my health insurance wouldn't change much (same plan, just different policy and a little more expensive but I don't have to change doctors or pay higher co-pays)  I accepted the job on Friday!!

I will be starting December 1st.  I am excited and scared. This is a smaller firm but established. Main office is in Dallas.   I will be doing pretty much what I did at my previous firm in Atlanta, even the same kind of law.  And it's $8,000 more than I make now, woo hoo!  And they pay for parking (unlike the County right now).

Here is the firm:  http://www.fordnassen.com/

I told them even before I interviewed that we may have to move in the summer if Jon can't find a job and they still wanted me!

If any thing I feel proud that they remembered me from the 8 weeks I worked there last year and liked me enough to hire me the same day I interviewed.

Just had to share.  Should be an exciting experience!!!

I am doing the happy dance inside, can't wait for the knee to allow me to actually do it!

Day Five Knee 'Crisis'

Still hurting.  It's a little better since I didn't walk much yesterday.  Of course, it's because I was very sick. I have Jon's cold and started a Z-pack. Well, the antibiotics made me extremely sick.  I am still a little woozy but not as bad. Just going to have to deal with the sore throat etc.

I read on Runner's World this morning that what I am dealing with is pretty common Runner's Knee. However, they make this stuff called KT Tape and may be more affective (and comfortable) than the brace.  I am going to Dick's today to get some and see how that is. I really really need to exercise and plan to do the bike tomorrow after work if I am feeling better cold/stomach wise.  Will keep icing today and resting it. Just doing laundry etc.

Tomorrow is actually sort of a 'big' day for me and I am nervous.  The exercise will REALLY help clear my mind.  I also ate totally bad while my in-laws have been here. However, being sick all day yesterday maybe helped with that situation.  Gross, I know.

More on events from tomorrow in my next entry.  I miss running...I hope this is better by the weekend. I really DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE DOCTOR if I don't have to.  I don't want to lose every thing and not be able to run the race in January...or not be able to run every again!!

Day Four Knee 'Crisis'

It feels slightly better but still sore and puffy.  Brace helping but will not be able to run the 8 miles tomorrow. I am getting upset and impatient but know I need to calm down and really really REST over the weekend.  Luckily tomorrow is just watching football all day so I get to SIT.

I also feel I have gained 20 lbs in the past four days I have not run. Doesn't help we've eaten out with Jon's parents and I of course have over-indulged on food and wine.  I NEED TO EXERCISE!!  I plan to do the bike in the morning...however my dear husband gave me his cold I think. My throat is scratchy and I feel run down. Great, another set back!! Maybe I"ll wake up and feel like a million bucks, one can hope...


This is how I feel at this moment. 


I want to scream and cry...
                       and I just might later. 

Day Three of Knee 'Crisis'

I can tell it's slowly getting better but it's still a little puffy and I am still limping a little like I have a 'peg leg'.  I was off yesterday for Veteran's day and my in-laws are here in town from AL.  We went to Fredericksburg TX which is the wine capital of TX.  There are tons of cute shops and restaurants so my mom in law and I spent about 4 hours looking in all the shops.

Yeah, even though I was walking slowly and wore my brace my knee was throbbing by the end of the day.  I iced it as I should last night and plan to do so today.  I won't be walking for that long of a time the rest of the weekend but oh I want this to HEAL.

I don't want to have to go to the doctor.

Day Two of Knee 'Crisis'

Well, the knee is feeling a little better which gives me hope that this will not be a long term/serious thing.  I am still wearing the brace and gotten made fun of.  Many comments about bedazzling it.  And oh yeah, I was called a 'peg leg' too.

Still a little swolen but walking much better!  Plan to ice ice ice tonight and keep wearing the brace. I may attempt the Elliptical tomorrow morning depending on how I feel. I need to exercise!!

Day One of Knee 'Crisis'

Runner's World Coping with Injury

Excellent article in Runner's World is keeping my spirits up that I may only be away from running for a week. I plan to try the elliptical on Thursday if I am feeling okay.

I wore the sexy knee brace (HA!) all day and it helped. Thanks to all my friends that suggested I bedazzle that thing.  I wore flats...but all my pants are hemmed for heels (as I may have previously mentioned) so I have to wear a skirt therefore exposing the lovely brace. I got a LOT of questions and some attorneys of mine decided it'd be fun to pick on me (ahem, Chavez). What else is new, every one picks on me!!  I guess 'cause I am good sport.

But I had to do some filing and pulling of files and that was hard because I had to bend up and down. I just did it very slooooowly...so not my nature to do any thing slow.  Of course by the end of the day the brace was itching and annoying but helping the KNEE which is what matters.  I plan to ice ice ice tonight and rest/elevate it.

More news on the knee tomorrow.  But tonight, I plan to drink WINE!!

(quick side note...I am a crazy cat lady)

Crying in my gatorade

Just talked to my dad about my knee.  He too has had knee issues over his many years of running. Basically I have overused it or something is tweaking the muscles around my knee.  Best thing to do is rest it a few days and ice, stretch etc.  I am to wear the brace at night and whenever I can. 

 Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I of course am upset, teary eyed...okay, yeah I was crying.  So what.  Just as I am getting in the groove a set back!!  I don't even know if I will be okay to run the 8 miles on Saturday. I just hope I don't fall out of shape and lose every thing I have gained.  No matter what I am running the half in January, even if it's a 15 min mile!!!  I also hope this doesn't become an ongoing issue.  I will lose it and will have to pay for real therapy.    It's not serious as far as I know...but it has to do with AGE.

Yeah,  I'll be overweight, old and even more crazy if I can't run!!!! 

Praying the rest will help.

Hmm, what to wear

While I run,  listening to my hot pink mini-iPod, I think...A LOT.  Today, while trying not to think about my painful knee, I thought about how I hate every thing in my closet. Okay, not every thing but would love some new pieces for cooler weather.  Things that FIT and don't look cheap.

With Jon in grad school at UT we are on a tight budget. No extra for my shopping addiction (yes, I am a shopaholic).  Besides new jeans I am not 'allowed' to buy much else for this season.

So, I thought of articles I read about how to shop your own closet:
(Real Simple shop your closet) 
I think I paired some new outfits.  I'll still have to try them on!

Another sucky thing with this knee issue is that I have to wear flats like I did today for a week or so.  I am a huge fan of heels for work.  Really any shoes I am a fan of  (I have over 60 pairs) but don't have a lot of work appropriate flats. None of my pants are hemmed for flats either so it could be an interesting week as far as work outfits go. Luckily I am off Thursday and Friday.  

Oh the things you can think when running!! 

Ice Ice baby...

As I write this I am icing my knee. It is so sore. I am trying not to freak out. I did stop at Target and get a knee brace, hopefully that will make a difference.  It is tight...how tight should a knee brace be?

My run was okay despite the knee. I did the 30 mins required according to my training schedule plus my usual half mile warm up and cool down.  The knee bothered me but not as much as when I stopped after the 30 mins to walk the one block I walk before my cool down. Then, it was hard to get going again. I felt good otherwise, which makes me even more mad and anxious because I know I am getting stronger but do not want this to set me back.

It was a little warmer than I would like, probably 78 or so...I was sweating. Better than 90 last Monday!  Luckily the trail is pretty soft so that was probably good for the knee.

Tomorrow night is 30x30's plus 30 mins. (30 sec fast, 30 sec slow x 12 or what I like to call Intervals).  Hope the brace will help.  Otherwise I'll just have to take it SLOW.

Past is the past.

The Past is the Past. Run for the FUTURE.

"I always loved running... it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power.  You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs."  ~Jesse Owens

Then.  Nickname 'Reetah the Cheetah'.

Now. College Football Saturdays.

 (I am working on the 'Now' me.)

Sore

Woke up today with super tight calves and a sore knee, even though I iced it yesterday several times.  We did walk around all day at the Austin Celtic Festival but I wore appropriate shoes and felt fine then, thinking actually that may help my tight calves.

Well, just cleaning and running errands today so plenty of time to stretch my legs and ice the knee before tomorrow's run.

I must reveal however the crap I ate yesterday because I feel so guilty.  I had three Harps, a cheesy brat from actual Scottish Highland cows, a big corn dog, sweet potato fries, and oh yeah a salad for dinner.  Ugh.  No wonder I am not losing weight. But it was a festival and so much fun!!

I just hope I don't feel like this tomorrow afternoon when I run with sore knee and full of fried goodness!

Fall is finally here in Austin

This morning it was like 40 degrees at 7:10 before our run. Perfect weather!!  I got to wear this new shirt I got. It's a dry fit long sleeve but has a hood and these thumb holes so it keeps your hands warm but the fingers are still exposed.  Three of the gals in the group wanted one and it was only $15 at Target.  All were excited. ha ha ha.

We ran 5.2 miles plus track work.  Ran 3 miles to the track. Then did quarters, so fast full lap and then walk a half lap x 5.  2.2 something back to the parking lot where we meet.  It was great.  Total we ran about an 8 min mile on the track runs...which was great but made me sad that I use to run a 7 min mile...for more than just a mile. But I know, I AM NOT 15 any more. I need to not be so hard on myself. Riiiiight.

I felt amazing.  My knee was a little sore but didn't bother me while running. I am icing it as I write this. I ended the run with a gal from my group ahead of our coaches!  My calves are tight from the fast track work but my calves are pretty much always tight.  Just need to keep on stretching.

Now, we are going to the Austin Celtic Festival at noon to watch men in kilts throw logs and herd sheep and learn about Jon's heritage.  I know the Williamsons are part of the Gunn clan, we learned that at the one in Atlanta. I am wearing our tartan scarf.   I am sure fatty foods and beer will be consumed. Really need to do my weights and ab workouts more frequently.  That's my goal, to get rid of my GUT. Ugh.

But today, I will enjoy the 70 degree weather and that I had a grrrrrreat run this morning. I can tell I am improving!

Austin Fit

http://www.austinfit.com/

This is my running group.  They do Marathon training too but I am soooo not ready for a full yet. I am in the Red Half Group the 10:45 min mile group.  There are probably from 15-25 of us in that time group every week.  I really like our coach and am meeting some interesting people. I hope that when the race is over I will have some people to still run with.  However, there are tons of free running groups in town that once I am in shape I will feel more comfortable joining.

However it is sad since back in the day I ran a 7 min mile or faster but I know, I know I am not 15 any more!!

Kneeeeeeeeeeeee

My training schedule is M,T and TH on my own and Saturdays with the group. This week I ran 30 mins on Monday and it was 90 degrees after work.  MS makes me more sensitive to the heat and it was horrible since last week was not that hot!  Austin is awesome but I can't stand the heat.

Tuesday I did 10 30x30's and 30 min run. It started pouring on me during the run and it was 65 degrees and the rain was cold. But I felt AWESOME.

However I got up Weds and my right knee was hurting.  Scared I contacted my dad and he gave me some stretches and told me to ice. I don't want this to affect my training and hurt me because I am just starting to feel good and in shape again!

I admit, I did not run last night. I went to happy hour instead. And yes, of course I feel guilty and that I am going to lose every thing I have gained. But logically, 3 days off is NOT going to kill me.  Hopefully I will be okay tomorrow for my group's workout of 5 miles and 2 miles of track work.  I really just hope my knee is okay!!

I keep icing and stretching today. We'll see. As long as it's not serious I can handle a little pain but don't want this to stop me!!

Will run for wine.

 

I love Wine. I am not going to lie.  And I admit, I run so I can eat and drink wine without becoming a huge blob. But, here is an abridged back story of why I am really doing this.  I am not a writer, this is something I need to do to track my progress (or lack of) and help me get my thoughts out since I am a bit crazy and never ever stop thinking. As the title says, running (and writing) is cheaper than therapy!

I come from a family of runners. My dad, brothers, sister, mom, other relatives...all of us have/still run.  My dad however has always been a runner and will until he dies. He is a RUNNER.  I started really running when I was in 6th grade.  I ran cross country and track. By the time I was in high school I ran varsity and was even an alternate on our state winning team my sophomore year. My name is on the huge trophy even though I didn't actually run in the race!  I was pretty hard core.  Then...my family moved to Georgia from Chicago where I grew up and I got into theatre and music, which ended up being what I got my degree in.

In college I ran on and off but was always skinny and didn't feel I 'needed' to exercise, not realizing the benefits at that time.  In my 20's I worked in theatre, and had day jobs, working 14-16 hours a day. Still super skinny I again did not exercise.  I finally made the choice to retire from theatre and work an 8-5 job in the legal field as a paralegal.  Which is what I do now. But all this is a WHOLE other story for another time!

In 2007 my best friend Vanessa convinced me to run a half marathon with her and it was awesome. My dad even came and ran with me. Then, a few months later, I got married and once again fell out of shape and packed on the pounds, the newlywed 15 as my husband Jonathan and I call it!

This past year some things changed. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and MS.  Luckily the cancer had not spread and they were able to remove it. MS on the other hand is a different story.  I am on preventative shots but basically the best thing I can do for the MS to maintain mobility is take my shots and EXERCISE. 

This was a wake up call, serious motivation for me to get my ass back out there running. Not only do I need to lose weight, I am getting older and have some actual health issues to deal with.  So, here we are.  I am not happy with my body or my state of mind. Running is something I really have always loved and a great stress release even though I am not nearly as good as I used to be. Since it has come to the point where I HAVE to exercise I decided now is the time to become a 'runner' again. 

I now live in Austin TX, a huge running community. To make myself get back out there I joined a running training group and will be running my 2nd Half Marathon with my dad in January.  It has already been an eye opening experience and I just started in September.

The group is already at 7 miles so you missed my painful first month of getting back into all this (lucky you).  The half marathon is just the beginning to jump start me back into this.

This is where my journey begins...